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Invisible Loss by Sawako Nakayasu

We all know about the big losses—death being one of them—the ones that have visible, known, and ritualized modes of grieving. For years now I have also been thinking about those lesser ones, the invisible losses—the very many things we lose along the way, but for which we do not have readily available means of mourning. Some we do not even feel we have permission to mourn. In my notes to Pink Waves, I wrote: “Some forms of loss are legible, others are complicated by their own illegibility.” An invisible or illegible loss might be the letting go of something I had once imagined, or hoped for, for my future self, the loss of a possibility. Or a loss that somehow feels unacceptable to mourn. Some seem too small to acknowledge. Some are otherwise unspeakable. My own loss that led to the book, Pink Waves, to this day feels and remains unspeakable—and so this notion of creating a space to mourn such losses endures. The texts presented in this piece have all been collected anonymously.

Acknowledgements

Invisible Loss was first created as a performance piece for the Translated Bodies performance event curated by Gabrielle Civil. Featuring collaborations and performances by Gabrielle Civil, Madhu H. Kaza, Sawako Nakayasu, and JD Pluecker, it was performed from March 9 to March 11, 2023, at Velocity Dance Center in Seattle, Washington. This current iteration of Invisible Loss has been occasioned for the ORAL.pub project, developed in collaboration with Theo Ellin Ballew. Many thanks to everyone who has contributed texts or participated in any way, small or large.

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